


I See You

by A_Story_Without_Words



Series: Penny For Your Thoughts [11]
Category: Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Nonbinary Character, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:42:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26185135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Story_Without_Words/pseuds/A_Story_Without_Words
Summary: From the perspective of Beatrice Haywood
Relationships: Penny Haywood/Player Character
Series: Penny For Your Thoughts [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1599250
Comments: 5
Kudos: 73





	I See You

**Author's Note:**

> From the perspective of Beatrice Haywood

I see you (F/N) (L/N). I see you in the stories my sister tells me. The hero of Hogwarts, the only person brave enough to stand up to Merula Snyde. Every year I wait in anticipation for my sister to return with more stories about your incredible adventures. About your mad brother and the cursed vaults, and how each year you somehow manage to overpower and outsmart every obstacle in your way and save the school from disaster.

I can’t wait to meet you someday. The tall and clever curse-breaker with the (H/C) hair and (E/C) eyes. I know what you look like because Penny’s told me. And she says that your brave and smart and kind. She smiles when she talks about you, you know. It’s a different type of smile too. Her eyes go all big and funny, like she’s looking at something far off, and her cheeks turn pink. I think she likes you.

I see you (F/N) (L/N). The first time I meet you is surreal. After everything I’ve heard about you, I was expecting you to be larger than life, but when we first meet, you’re just another person. I think, “Surely, this can’t be who Penny always talks about.” But then I see the way she looks at you and I know it must be you, because she has the same smile on her face. The one she has whenever she thinks about you.

I follow you around at the beginning of the year. Even if you don’t see me, I see you. You are everything Penny said you were. I see your faith in your friends as you place your trust in Ben Copper and I witness your bravery and cool head when you’re confronted by that mysterious dark wizard, wishing I had your courage as I shake in fear from where I watch, just inside the corridor.

I see you (F/N) (L/N). From inside my prison of a portrait I watch as you comfort my sister. I ask you to take care of her. I trust you to look after her, not because of the stories I’ve been told, but because of what I’ve seen. I see the way you look at my sister. You love her, don’t you? You don’t need to say anything. I already know the answer. I know because I see the way you hold her as she cries. I see the resolve in your eyes as you promise her that you’ll save me.

I see you (F/N) (L/N). I see you trying to be strong for my sister. I see you take this burden as your own, trying to take the weight from Penny’s shoulders. I see the guilt in your eyes, how you blame yourself for what’s happened to me. How you blame yourself for every tear that falls from my sister’s eyes. And when she collapses into your arms, crying into your shoulder, I can see that you think you don’t deserve her friendship. That you don’t deserve to love her. You’re wrong. I know you’re wrong. I know because I see you. I see you doing everything you can to break this curse, not for yourself or your brother, but for me and my sister. 

I see you (F/N) (L/N). I see you suffer. I see the bags under your eyes and the sluggishness in your step. I see Professor McGonagall stop you in the corridor and confront you about your falling marks. I see my sister blame you for what’s happened. I see her yell at you, telling you she hates you, that she never wants to see you again. And I see you nod and apologize, all the while barely managing to fight back the tears as your heart breaks at her words. 

I see you (F/N) (L/N). I see your mask. I see the calm and collected star student everyone else sees, fighting monsters and breaking curses with a confident grin. But I see more than that now. I see the cracks in your wall. I see you go mad with fear. Fear of failing me. Fear of failing Penny. I see you discuss theories with Merlin’s portrait and your attempts to unravel Sir Cadogan’s meaningless riddles in search of some nonexistent wisdom. I see you go weeks without sleep, spending your nights in front of my painting, hoping that you’ve missed something in the thousands of times you’ve looked, and that tonight might be the night you find it. I see your anger and frustration when you don’t. I see your tears of desperation, and I see the small dent in the wall beginning to form from where you’ve hit it in anguish, breaking your hand on the hard stone more times than I can remember.

I see you (F/N) (L/N). I see Merula Snyde find you in the middle of the night, kneeling in front of my painting, your bloody hands pressed against the wall as your tears fall to the floor. I see you try to quickly rebuild your façade, attempting to hide this moment of weakness that no one was supposed to see. I see the fear and shame in your eyes when you realize it’s too late, that she’s seen too much. And I see the surprise in your face when instead of teasing you, she wraps her arms around you in a comforting hug, telling you that it’s okay for you to cry. Promising you that she’ll do whatever it takes to help you, that you’ll break this curse and that Penny will talk to you again.

I see you (F/N) (L/N). I see you slowly getting closer to the next vault, clawing and scratching for every inch. I see your excitement when you finally find it. You place your hands against my portrait and promise me it won’t be long before I’m free. I see each of your friends offer their help in turn, wands ready to help you in your journey. And I see you refuse each and every one because “you’re not willing to risk someone else getting hurt.” 

I see you (F/N) (L/N). I see your friends gather round as you say your goodbyes, just in case. I see Tulip kiss you on the cheek and Charlie and Bill pull you into a big hug. Tonks is making jokes, still trying to make light of the situation, but her heart isn’t really in it. Barnaby punches you on the shoulder and makes you promise to come back, and Rowan is trying to give advice on how to deal with anything you might find in the vault. I see you go around and give each of your friends a hug until there’s only one goodbye left to say. The one that matters most. But she isn’t there. I see you look at her fellow Hufflepuff and nod shakily when Tonks frowns and shakes her head. She isn’t coming. And I find myself wondering if Penny even knows what’s about to happen. If she even knows everything you’ve been through, everything you’ve done just for her. If she even knows you might not make it back. If she even knows what she might be about to lose.

I see you (F/N) (L/N). Late that night you visit me one last time. I see a piece of parchment in your hands, and in the candlelight, I can see Penny’s name written across the top. I know what you want from me. You want me to give it to her. But instead you crumble it up and shove it in the pockets of your robes. You look up at me, and though I can no longer hear you, I’ve gotten pretty good at reading lips. You ask me the very same thing I asked you all those months ago.

“Take care of her. Take care of Penny.”

And I want to cry and scream and tell you that you can take care of her yourself when you make it back. That you have to make it back, because I need you. Your friends need you. And most of all, Penny needs, even if she doesn’t know it. And then I see Merula emerge from the shadows and place a hand on your trembling shoulder. It’s time. Just promise me I’ll see you again.

The next thing I know I feel my sister’s arms around me, crying in relief as she holds me close. Everything seems a little fuzzy, like a dense fog is clouding my brain. Penny holds me at an arm’s length and starts looking over me to make sure I’m alright. And as she’s brushing the hair from my face, I hear her ask; how? And I realize she doesn’t know. I push her away and immediately run to find you. 

I see you (F/N) (L/N). I see you the moment I step into the Hospital Wing, the first place I think to look for you. I see your friends gathered around your bed. I see you lying there with your eyes closed and I tell myself you’re fine, you’re only sleeping. But I see the singes and tears in your robes, and I see the charred black skin beneath the thick orange ointment on the right half of your face. Penny runs in just a few seconds later, chasing after me of course. And she ignores the fact that everyone’s gathered here, and she ignores the cold angry looks they’re giving her. She rushes over to me and tells me not to run off like that, but I ignore her. I’m too busy asking you to wake up. Please wake up. And then something clicks in Penny’s mind. And she looks at you. For the first time in three months she looks at you. And it’s to find you lying unconscious in a bed in the Hospital Wing.

Madam Pomfrey comes over to tell us off. “He’s only allowed two visitors at a time.” She says. And no one thinks she deserves to be the one to stay by your side, not even me. But I see you (F/N) (L/N), and I’ve seen the way you look at my sister. And I know that she’s the one you want. That if you were awake, she’s the one you’d choose. And everyone else seems to know it too, so they all leave while Penny and I stay behind.

I hug you around the middle and beg you to wake up, crying until I have not more tears left to cry. An hour passes and Penny places a hand on my shoulder and tries to pull me away. She says that we should leave, that you need to rest, and I don’t understand. I don’t understand how she could say that. I don’t understand how she could leave you. And I don’t understand how she hasn’t fallen to her knees and cried every tear she has.

Professor Dumbledore stops by to check on you. On both of us. I tell him I’m fine and I ask if you’ll be okay. And then he says something impossible. He says he doesn’t know. I ask him what happened, and he tells me. He tells me about the dragon guarding the vaults. And he tells me about Professor Rakepick’s betrayal. And as he’s telling me, I see you. I see you fighting the dragon and I see you dueling Rakepick. And then I see you lose. 

The Cruciatus Curse, Dumbledore says. I hear Penny’s breath catch in her throat, but Dumbledore isn’t done talking. He explains how the Cruciatus Curse causes pain. Pain beyond anything imaginable. Like you’re being burned alive and torn to pieces but just won’t die. He says you were tortured for hours. That the pain was so terrible that your mind turned off to protect your body. And now here you are, lying in a bed, your body burned and your mind broken, and no one knows if you’ll ever wake up. 

I see you (F/N) (L/N). I come and visit every day, hoping that today might be the day you wake up. But it’s been almost two weeks now, and Madam Pomfrey says there’s been no change. She tells me that Professor Dumbledore is going to have you transferred to St. Mungo’s in a few days. 

Penny still hasn’t come to visit you. And it makes me so angry whenever I see her. When I see her eating with her friends in the Great Hall and when I see her in the common room, just sitting there. And it’s strange because all I ever used to want was for her to be happy. For her to smile. And now seeing her smile makes me angry. Because she shouldn’t be smiling. She shouldn’t be laughing with her friends in the corridors. She should be with you, while she still can.

The healers are coming for you tomorrow, so I figure it’s time for me to say goodbye. And to thank you for everything you’ve done. But when I go to visit you for the final time, I see my sister in a chair next to your bed. I see her holding your hand. I see the way she’s looking at you. That look on her face, the goofy grin she had whenever she thought about you, it used to make me smile. But now, for some reason, it makes me mad. For some reason I don’t think she deserves to look at you that way. Not anymore. Not after she wouldn’t look at you for months. When you needed her the most.

The next thing I know I’m screaming at her. Shouting in her face as I ask her why she wasn’t here earlier. Why she’s waited until now. And she says something about it being too hard. And about how part of her is still mad with you for everything you’ve put us through. Everything you’ve put us through? How, after everything you’ve done for us, how can she still be blaming you for what happened? And then I realize she still doesn’t know. She still thinks this was all about finding your brother. But I know better. I know because I’ve seen you.

I’ve seen you in a way no one else has. I’ve seen you at your weakest. I’ve seen you when you cry. I’ve seen you go weeks without sleep. And most of all, I’ve seen the way you look at my sister. And I don’t know how I can make her understand. I don’t know how I can make her see what I’ve seen. And then I remember the letter. Your robes are folded on the bedside table. I reach into the pockets and take out the small crumpled up piece of parchment and throw it at my sister. And I watch her as she smooths out the paper and reads your final words to her. 

Penny,

"I’m sorry. I sorry for everything I’ve put you through. I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve brought you. And I’m sorry for how selfish I’ve been. I know how dangerous being around me can be, and ever since we found Tulip walking towards the Forbidden Forest, I knew I needed to start doing this alone. But I just couldn’t. And it wasn’t because I was afraid or lonely, it’s because I’m selfish. Because if I started pushing everyone away, I’d have to push you away too. And I couldn’t do that. I loved the way you looked at me too much. I loved showing off for you and I loved how you saw me. A hero. Your hero. And I loved your praise more than I cared about your safety. I loved being your Hero of Hogwarts too much. But the truth is Penny, I’m not a hero. I’m not the curse breaker here to save Hogwarts. I’m the curse. And now I’ve gone and cursed you too. But I promise you, I’m going to make this right. I’ve found the vault and I’m going to go and I’m going to bring your sister back. And then maybe, maybe you’ll smile again. I miss seeing you smile, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the way you used to smile at me. But something tells me I’m never going to get to see it again. Something tells me I’m not making it back. And even now I’m telling myself I’m doing this all for you, but I know, deep down, part of me is doing this because I want to be your hero again. Because I want you to smile when you think of me, even if I’m not there to see it. 

I never meant for any of this to happen Penny. I never meant to hurt you. But that’s all I seem to do. And I’m afraid I’m about to go and hurt you again, but I’m still just a selfish fool who cares more about what he wants than your wellbeing. So I hope you’ll forgive me one day, but I can’t leave without saying goodbye. And without telling you, I love you Penny.

I love you."

I see the tears in her eyes as she reads your letter, and I see her inhale sharply as she reaches the end. As she finally realizes what I’ve known this entire time. That it was all for her. And then she looks at me, her lower lip trembling. And I can see the guilt in her face as she cries.

“The last thing I… the last thing I said was…”

I hate you. I’d forgotten until now. But the last words she said to you were “I never want to see you again. I hate you.” And I try to comfort her. Tell her that it’s not too late. That she can still tell you.

She folds up your note and places it carefully in her pocket. She stands over you and gently brushes the hair from your face as she apologizes over and over again. And then she whispers to you, “I love you.”

She gently touches her lips to yours, and when she pulls away, I see your eyes slowly open.


End file.
